As I sit here feeding my sweet new son I am overcome with such a great desire to see you, talk to you, to be able to give you a hug. I wish you could meet your new grandson ( on this side of heaven). I remember the joy you had in each of your grandkids. As I look at pictures of you holding Eli I see your smile and the light in your eyes. I want that for Luke. I want that for myself. Losing you was so hard but having Luke without you was even harder. Daddy, Aunt Karen, and Aunt LaDell have been amazing but it's not you.
I miss you mama. My heart hurts for you. I cry that Eli might forget and Luke will never know you. I remind myself you are with my Micah and that we are only separated by this life but sometimes that is not enough. Often when I'm holding both my boys tears come to my eyes, you would be so proud of your grandsons. Eli is a sweet big brother and Luke is a wonderful baby. It is so fun to watch Luke's eyes follow Eli's voice as he plays.
You always said life is for the living and helped us grieve and move on but that is so hard without you. The thought of buying Mother's Day cards this year is so overwhelming, I won't be buying one to send to you. Eli won't be coloring your card. It doesn't seem fair, but then I'm reminded how blessed I was to have you for so long. How much you taught me not just by word but by example.
I pray I can be a woman after God's heart, a mother that teaches by example, a wife that supports and loves without bounds. I pray I can be a living example of your life and love!
I love you mama, miss you, and can't wait to see you again!
Love,
Your baby girl with blue eyes, Deb
No comments:
Post a Comment